Divorce or separation (depending on your together status) was never something that was going to happen to you. But here it is. How do you handle it? I say if you’re going to have a divorce or separation, you may as well have a good one.
You ask, quite reasonably and just a little curiously, “A good divorce? A contradiction in terms wouldn’t you say? What does it look like?”
A good separation/divorce looks like this when you fast-forward your life:
- You attend a family event like a wedding, a graduation or a birthday and it’s not ‘awkward’ for you or the people around you when you and your ex are both there. The best separations are when you and your ex can look with mutual pride on your children and when there is that special event or achievement, you can even share a ‘moment’.
- On sports day you both ‘go nuts’ cheering for your children, rather than being their ‘support team’, but turn about.
- Your children spend their childhood comfortable with both parents since you have developed a working relationship for both embracing their childhood. You are ever mindful that your ex is not your children’s ex.
- You have both moved forward successfully into your new separate lives. Good divorces are perceived by both to be ‘fair’ and both parents come out the other side with the opportunity to embrace their children long term. Good divorces don’t just happen – they’re built – on two foundations – approach and process.